My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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