smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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