The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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