I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
