her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
