it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
