Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
