I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
