is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
