Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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