i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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