I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
