Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
