my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
