She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
