why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
