Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
