PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize