is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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