Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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