Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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