You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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