how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
