I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
