Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
