Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
