getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
