worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
