We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
