bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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