It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize