Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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