My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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