Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
