I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
