i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
