brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
