I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
