Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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