Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
