Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
