I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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