Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
