I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
