i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
