and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
