He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
