i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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