i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He better not be in your backpack
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
