I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
