Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
