I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
