I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
