They should really pass out barf bags in church
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize