Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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