i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
