sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
