just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My penis needs a shock collar
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
