Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
