I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
