Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
