Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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