that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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