Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
